Of Holy Water and a Hyper Demigod
by NoTearsFalling
Summary: Bringing Annabeth to the library? Bad idea. Giving Leo sugar? Horrendous idea. Giving Percy holy water? It's a downright nightmare. (A bit of a crackfic - Enjoy the laughs!)


**A/N In case you are wondering, this is supposed to be a bit of a crackfic. It was written to hopefully make you all laugh. I hope that you enjoy it. :D**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own PJO.**

* * *

To say Annabeth was surprised at Leo's odd question would be an understatement. She was also utterly confused, "Um, what?"

"I _said_ , 'What is holy water?'" Leo explained again.

Annabeth gave him a strange look before quoting the dictionary, "Holy water is water blessed by a priest and used in religious ceremonies."

Leo raised an eyebrow, "Isn't this the point where you say some little known fact about holy water?"

Annabeth sent him a dark glare before proceeding to do just that. "That is the definition to mortals. _Our_ version of holy water is water blessed by all water gods, freshwater or not. All of this water is contained in a fountain that the mortals know as the Fountain of Youth. I know what you are thinking, and sorry to disappoint, but it doesn't actually grant eternal youth."

Leo nodded, and Annabeth was surprised to find that he had actually been listening intently instead of zoning out. Leo got a thinking look on his face, "What would happen if you gave some to a child of Poseidon to drink?"

Annabeth thought hard, "Well, it can either be really good or really bad. Although, I suppose that there _could_ be a medium somewhere in there."

"What _exactly_ will happen?" Leo asked, and Annabeth couldn't be sure but did he seem a bit… _nervous_?

"Well," Annabeth started, "A thing I forgot to mention was that unlike normal water, all those blessings of the gods have caused the water to have no dirt, copper, iron, or anything else that might be normally mixed with water. That means that although the holy water is a mix of saltwater and freshwater, the water itself is one-hundred percent pure."

Leo nodded, "But what does that _mean_?"

"Well if you give a child of Poseidon some holy water, the good is that they might become ultra powerful, maybe even immortal. The bad is that the holy water could be too pure for them. That could burn away their mortality and therefore kill them. If bad enough, it could burn away their soul and wipe them from existence."

"Oh," Leo squeaked.

Annabeth nodded as if agreeing with herself and continued without noticing Leo's barely controlled panic. "As for the medium, I honestly don't know. It's never happened before."

"And the first two have?" Annabeth failed to notice as Leo's voiced raised an octave.

"I don't think that first one has. That's just a theory, but I think the second one has happened. What was the kid's name again? I think it was like Mike or something. Oh, why did you ask that anyway?" Annabeth asked.

Leo's smile was strained, "Just curious."

Annabeth laughed, "Well don't give any to Percy. Okay?"

Leo laughed nervously, "Ha, I wouldn't even think of it."

Leo then proceeded to faint on spot.

* * *

"Leo, hey Leo, wake up." Leo woke up and sat up groggily. He shook the sleep out of his eyes to see Percy standing next to him.

"What happened?" Leo asked.

"I don't know dude. Annabeth said that you were talking to her when suddenly, you fainted. Now you are in the infirmary."

Leo nodded before he shot up in bed, "Percy, you didn't drink the holy water, did you?"

"Uh, no. It's right here." Percy held up a small vial of water while sending him a confused glance. "Oh, you were worried that you'd miss out on seeing me drink it, weren't you? Well no worries. I've got it right here. I'm guessing you wanted me to use our version of holy water, correct?"

Leo shook his head hastily, "Yes, I mean no. Honestly, you don't have to drink it."

Percy grinned at that, "Leo, you should know something about me. I _never_ back down from a dare."

And with that, to Leo's utter terror, Percy opened the vial and swallowed the contents inside. Leo stared at him in dread. "Percy, do you know what you've just done?! Do you know what our version of holy water _really_ is?"

"Duh, I never go into a dare blindly. Actually, I knew what it was even before you dared me." Seeing Leo's horror-struck face, Percy quickly continued, "Relax dude, I put a pinch of dirt in the water so that it wasn't pure anymore."

Leo shook his head, "That won't do anything Percy. That water was blessed by the gods!"

Percy's eyes widened dramatically before he smirked, "Man, imagine Charon's face when he hears my story. Ha, this story is better than a bathtub any time."

Leo had no idea what Percy meant by his last sentence, but hearing Charon's name sent chills down his spine. "Percy, stop joking around. This is serious."

Percy nodded and his face immediately got serious, "Find Chiron and call a meeting in the Big House. Now."

Leo nodded and ran of. As soon as he was out of sight, Percy grinned down at the vial. He _had_ to get more of this stuff.

* * *

"Leo, what is the meaning of this meeting that you have called?" Chiron spoke from the head of the table.

Leo looked around the ping pong table at everyone, "Do you all know what holy water is? The mythology type, I mean." Seeing nods from everyone, he continued, "Well Percy drank some."

Shouts were immediately heard from all around the table. Chiron immediately stomped his hooves on the ground to silence everyone. He then turned to Leo. "Explain."

Leo nodded and explained everything that had happened up to that point. As soon as he was done, Clarisse spoke up, "Where is Prissy anyway?"

Everyone looked around. Sure enough, Percy Jackson was not present. Annabeth spoke up worried, "What if something happened to him?"

Chiron tried to sooth her, "Do not worry, child. I'm sure everything is fine."

Suddenly, the door to the Big House slammed open. To everyone's shock, there stood Percy Jackson himself. He beamed largely at everyone, "Why has no one ever given me holy water before? It is _sooo_ much better than sugar!"

Annabeth's eyes widened, "Percy, honey, are you okay?"

"Never better," Percy was jumping up and down rapidly in place as if her were on a really fast pogostick, "I've had ten vials of this stuff, yep, yep, yep, I really have! Oh! Do you want to go race hippocampi at the beach? We should, you know. It's really fun. Until you fall over though. I did that once."

Leo and Annabeth shared looks across the room. Leo mouthed to her. _Is he okay?_

Annabeth mouthed back. _He's super hyper._

Leo gave her a confused look. _I didn't give him sugar._

 _I know. This is the medium._ Annabeth mouthed.

Leo nodded his head understandably before he smiled at Percy, "Hey dude. I'll hang out with you. No hippocampi though, please. Water and I do not mix."

"That's what _you_ say." Percy replied stubbornly.

Leo raised an eyebrow. "No seriously, it puts out my fire."

Percy rolled his eyes, "Whatever. That's why water is better."

Leo chose to ignore that comment, "I'm totally going to regret saying this, but do you want to go to Bunker 9?" Seeing Percy's unsure look, Leo quickly continued, "I have squirt guns."

Percy's eyes widened, and he actually stopped bouncing, "Dude, why didn't you just lead with that? _Of course_ , I'm coming."

Percy then ran up to Leo and dragged him away. Right before they left the building, Leo managed to mouth two words to Annabeth. _Help me._

* * *

Leo jogged quickly trying to keep up with Percy who was ahead of him. Leo never thought he would see the day when he saw _the_ Percy Jackson skipping, actually _skipping_ , through the woods. Added to that, Percy was singing a _very_ off tune song at the top of his lungs while constantly interrupting himself. "OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS Hey! We _are_ in the woods! Did you even realize that Leo? Oh, and there's the creek! TO BUNKER NINE WE GO! LEO KNOWS THE WAY TO Well now how am I going to continue this? Leo doesn't use sleighs. He uses dragons. Oh! I could sing about HEY LEO! WE'RE HERE!"

Leo sighed. _Finally!_ As soon as Leo opened the door, Percy disappeared inside. Leo frowned as he stepped through the doorway, "Percy? Where are you?"

"Hi there.." Leo let out a very unmanly scream as Percy appeared right behind him. Percy gave him a confused look, "I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong? Hey, guess what! I found the squirt guns!"

Leo looked up sharply at this. He had lied when he said he had squirt guns. He was just trying to get Percy out of the way so that Annabeth and the others could find a way to calm him down. "Um, where did you get those?"

"Oh, they were in the back somewhere. I had to crawl under a HUGE chainsaw to get them. Why is that chainsaw there anyway? It's as big as a freight train! Okay, maybe not _that_ big, but it's still huge. As big as a car, I think. Do want to know who invented squirt guns? His name was Sir P. Ercy the First. Now let me tell you, this man was _amazhang_. Ha, see what I did there? Anyway, his hair was gorgeous and a luscious black, and you should have seen his eyes! They were " As Percy continued to rant about his made up person, Leo looked around trying to see if he had anything that would calm Percy down and stop him from destroying everything in the vinancy.

Suddenly, Leo heard a huge crashing sound. He looked up to see Percy trapped under a huge statue of Poseidon. Leo had to smirk at the irony. Apparently, while Leo hadn't been paying attention, Percy had started investigating the statues that Jason had asked Leo to store in Bunker 9 until Annabeth could find a place to put them on Olympus. Percy had accidentally bumped his father's statue, and it had fallen on him, trapping him between the prongs of his trident. Leo snickered.

Percy sent a dark glare his way, "Oh ha, ha. Laugh at the poor trapped demigod. How _caring_ and _considerate_ of you. Now will you shut up and get this thing off of me?"

Leo grinned impishly, "Nope! Not until I find some duct tape and a strong rope. Oh, and find a way to confiscate Riptide."

"Why would you need… oh. Oh! Hey! Get me out of here! Oh when I get my hands on you…" Leo ignored Percy's angry threats against his well being. Something about Rachel and a hairbrush? Eh, it wouldn't matter anyway, as long as he could get the rope in time.

As Leo continued to search for rope (He already had duct tape because it could be found virtually anywhere in the bunker.), he wondered if Percy was still hyper. Could his anger override the holy water? Leo rejected that theory as soon as he looked over at Percy. Not only had Percy managed to escape, but he had also found rope and duct tape before Leo had. Now, after all the threats Percy had made to him, you would expect Leo to be frightened at the prospect of Percy with these items. However, he wasn't scared, just slightly concerned for Percy's mental status, especially when you added the fact that Percy was now tying up the 20 foot tall statue that had trapped him… Leo just hopped that Poseidon looked before he blasted. Otherwise Poseidon's next order would be one fishboy, well done, with extra sass on the side.

"So Percy, what do you want to do?" Leo asked the hyper demigod very nervously.

Percy finished putting a piece of tape over the statue's mouth and started to seriously think about it. "Hmm, we could either a) have a serious heart to heart about life, b) fix the squirt guns I found, they are apparently broken, c) order pizza because I really like pizza, d) work on your projects, you can teach me how to do it, e) prank everyone in camp, f) get sugar and play loud music while running ramage around camp… Ooh, I really like e and f… g) We could "

Leo quickly interrupted him, "Okay, okay, I get it. We have alot of options. How about this. I'll order pizza, and you can wait at the border for it, okay?"

Percy nodded excitedly and started bouncing up and down again. "I like that idea. Yep, yep, yep. I really do. Oh, make sure you get cheese, lots and lots of cheese, boatloads of cheese. Make sure you get so much cheese the you could fill up a warehouse, a big warehouse, a warehouse that "

Leo interrupted him yet again, "Yup, I got it. You just go wait for it okay? And leave the other campers alone."

Percy nodded like a little puppy, "Yes, sir."

As Percy ran out the door, Leo picked up the emergency cell phone that he kept in his toolbelt. Annabeth better hurry up and find a way to calm down Percy or else he might go broke…

* * *

Annabeth looked up from her research books as Leo ran through the door. He leaned over and placed his hands on his knees as he tried to regain his breath, "Have-have you found a c-cure yet?"

Annabeth glared at him, "No, Leo, I have not. These things take time you know. I'm trying as fast as I can, but I don't have super fast reading skills. Besides, I have the whole cabin working on it."

Leo stood up and looked around. Sure enough, every child of Athena had their nose buried in a book and there were books stacked all over the cabin. He smiled sheepishly.

"Heh, ya and you are doing a _fabulous_ job. Keep it up everyone!" Everyone shushed him when he shouted the last sentence. He winced, "Oops."

Annabeth rolled her eyes and nodded in the direction of the door, "Do you need anything else or can you leave?"

"I was actually wondering if I could borrow some money. See, Percy and I ordered pizza and… Annabeth, are you alright?" Leo looked over worried at Annabeth who had suddenly zoned out.

Annabeth shook her head worried, "Leo… who's watching Percy right now?"

Leo's eyes widened in realization. "Um, no one?"

Annabeth eyes darkened, "Leo, do you know _where_ Percy is?"

"Um, no? Wait, yes. He's waiting by the border for our pizza. Unless, he moved…" Leo got a thoughtful look on his face."

"Leo! There are monsters outside the border. What if Percy went out there? He's not in his right mind! What if he gets hurt?" Annabeth frowned in worry, before she stared at Leo hard. "Find him. _Now._ "

Before Leo could answer, a loud roar was heard and screams came from the direction of Thalia's Tree. Leo looked over at Annabeth, "Found him."

Annabeth didn't even bother to reply as she dragged him out the door.

* * *

Annabeth rubbed her temples in frustration as she looked down at the little girl in front of her. "I want you to tell me one last time. What happened?"

The little girl looked at her with big brown eyes. "I was playing in the grass with the Demeter girls when Peleus got mad and started roaring. Then Percy came along to see what was wrong and started fighting these big doggies with red eyes."

"You mean hell hounds?" Leo cut in.

The girl nodded adamantly, "Yeah, them. There was like five of them! Percy took out his sword and killed them."

Annabeth nodded, "And then what happened?"

The little girl thought hard. "This guy came and said that he had a pizza delivery. He didn't look to happy though. I think I heard him mutter something about beaches, pizza, and getting lost or something like that."

"And what happened after that?" Leo prodded the girl to continue.

"Percy took the pizza and handed him some money. The green, paper stuff, not gold coins." Suddenly, one of the councilors called for the little girl. She looked over at them and grinned apologetically, "I'm sorry, my cabin has archery now. I have to go. Oh, and Percy went that way. Bye!"

Annabeth watched as the girl ran off before turning to Leo. "Okay, so Percy payed for the pizza with mortal cash that he got from who-knows-where, and now he ran in the direction that the girl pointed too. That leads to… oh no."

"What's wrong?" Leo asked confused.

Annabeth cast him an exasperated look, "Percy went to Rachel's cave. You know, creepy Oracle."

"Well that can't be good." Leo stated.

Annabeth rolled her eyes, "Thank you Captain Obvious."

"Your welcome."

* * *

"Oh! Hello Percy." Rachel looked up from her painting to see Percy standing in the doorway. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought pizza!" Percy beamed and held out a pizza box like an excited little kid. "It's got lots of cheese! Do you want to share it with me?"

Rachel eyed him warily before slowly nodding, "Yeah, sure."

"YAY!" Percy plopped down before opening the box and gasping in horror.

Rachel looked at him worriedly, "What's wrong Percy?"

Percy dropped the box and pointed at it dramatically with one hand over his forehead, "They put pepperoni on it! Why must they be such cruel monsters!?"

Rachel looked down at the pizza. There was one little piece of pepperoni on it, and it was barely even noticeable. She eyed Percy, "Percy, I can just eat that piece for you. It's fine, really."

"No!" Rachel jumped in her seat, startled, as Percy shouted, "This is an outrage! I must file a charge against them! They deserve at least ten years in the pen for this!"

Rachel raised her hands in a calming matter. "Percy, have you eaten an sugar recently? You seem a little out of it…"

"No, I'm fine, and I am acting like a perfectly rational human being!" Percy stuck his tongue out at her to prove his point.

Rachel nodded at him, "Yeah, sure."

Suddenly, Percy looked at his wrist which had nothing on it, "My, my, look at the time! It's half past freckle. I'm going to be late for my meeting with Sir P. Ercy!"

Rachel stared after Percy in worry as he skipped out the door.

* * *

Five minutes later, Leo and Annabeth burst into Rachel's cave. She was sitting at her easel with head head in her hands. Without even looking at them, she pointed out the door, "He went that way."

Leo and Annabeth shared a look before running back outside again.

* * *

"Hey Percy, what's up man?" Travis walked up to Percy's right.

Connor joined his brother on Percy's left, "Yeah, where are you going?"

Percy grinned, "I'm going to visit my friend, Sir P. Ercy!"

The two brothers shared a look behind Percy's back before Travis laughed at Percy nervously, "Hey man, you know that isn't a real person… right?"

Percy gasped at him, "What? Of course he is! He's Jack's son!"

"Sorry dude, but my brother's right. That's not a real person." Connor placed his hand on Percy's shoulder.

"You're just jealous that you've never met him before!" Percy shook Connor's hand off of his shoulder before he grinned. "Hey, do you want to meet him?"

The brothers shared another look before Connor smiled uneasily at him, "Yeah man, sure."

"Great!" Percy skipped off in the direction of the cabins. After a moment of hesitation, the brother's followed him. Percy lead them through the cabins until he stopped in front of the Aphrodite cabin. He glanced around suspiciously before he leaned over and whispered to Travis in an Australian accent. "Hey mate, go take a peek inside, will ya? We gotta make sure that those blasted barbies aren't home."

Travis blinked at Percy for a moment, frozen in confusion, but he started moving when Percy gave him the stink eye and began to eye him suspiciously. After looking into all the windows, he came back around to Percy and his brother, "It's all clear. There are no barbies in sight."

Percy stared at him in utter confusion before speaking in his normal voice, "Do you mean the Aphrodite girls?"

Percy shook his head and looked at Travis weirdly before leading the Stolls into the Aphrodite cabin. He looked around for a moment before guiding them over to a mirror in the back of the room and smiling triumphantly. He pointed to the mirror which showed his face, "Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Sir P. Ercy. Well don't just stand there! Greet the fine man!"

Travis and Connor both waved at the mirror awkwardly before listening to Percy start talking again. "Did you know that he invented squirt guns? And look at his hair. It's so lucious! And his eyes… they are just so beautiful!"

Travis and Connor glanced between the mirror and Percy before slowly creeping out of the Aphrodite cabin and blocking the door with their bodies.

* * *

Leo ran past the Aphrodite cabin before backing up and pointing at the Stolls tiredly "H-have you seen-seen…"

"He's in there." Connor interrupted him tiredly, pointing to the Aphrodite cabin.

Annabeth jogged up behind Leo and placed a hand on his shoulder for support. "Percy?"

"As I told Leo, he's in there." Connor pointed to the cabin again. "Who had the stupid idea of giving him sugar anyway?"

Leo raised his hand guilty, "It's holy water actually, and that would be me."

Travis shook his head at Leo as he struggled to hold the door shut from Percy's pounding. "Worst mistake ever man."

Leo looked over at Annabeth to see her glaring at him, "Yeah, I know."

* * *

"Have you found anything yet?" Annabeth asked her brother as she entered the Athena cabin with Leo trailing behind her.

"No, nothing." Malcolm looked behind Leo, "Did you find Percy?"

"Yes, we did. I had Chiron lock him up in the Big House until we think of a solution." Annabeth explained. "Are you sure you haven't found anything?"

Malcolm motioned to a younger child of Athena who handed him a piece of paper. "Yeah, I'm sure. We don't have any ideas for certain, but we have some theories that we could try."

Annabeth glanced at Leo, "Well, what do you think?"

"Why not? We've got nothing to lose, right?" Leo paused when Annabeth didn't reply, "Right?"

* * *

"I changed my mind, we have everything to lose!" Leo screamed as he ran away from the beach being chased by a giant wave, "Who came up with this idea anyway!?"

"That would be me." Malcolm yelled back as he sprinted ahead of Leo.

"Just for the record, your ideas suck!" Annabeth shouted at her brother.

Suddenly, the wave crashed down on the three demigods. As the water washed back down the beach and into the ocean, Malcolm pulled out his piece of paper that had miraculously stayed dry and crossed out the first thing written there, "Well, tossing Percy into the sea is out."

* * *

Leo stared in horror at the scene that was unfolding before him. He didn't know how or why, but somehow Percy had gotten his hands on a T-shirt launcher and was shooting food at everyone in the pavilion as they tried to eat their lunch. Leo yelped as a piece of blue pizza flew over his head, barely missing him. He ducked under a table to find Annabeth and Malcolm huddled there.

Leo grabbed Malcolm's shirt collar and stared into his face, "I don't know what that was or why you thought it would work, but I want you to cross out that idea right now. Now, what's Plan C?"

* * *

"I hate Plan C! I hate Plan C!" Leo screamed as ran across came trying to escape Percy and his paintball launcher. He didn't even think that these were plans anymore.

Leo ducked behind the Athena cabin to see Malcolm trembling under Annabeth's harsh glare. It seemed that he wasn't the only one annoyed with these plans.

* * *

"Leo, are you okay…?" Annabeth trailed off uncertainly as Leo entered the Athena cabin. He clothes were in tatters, and his clothes and hair were burned and scorched in random places. Every part of him was covered in soot. "I thought that you are invincible to fire?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Leo held up a hand to silence her before turning to Malcolm. There was literal fire in his eyes, "This next plan better be good or I swear to the gods that you will wish you were never born."

Malcolm smiled weakly before crossing out Plan D.

* * *

Leo had been staring at Malcolm for the past two minutes without blinking, and to be honest, Malcolm was getting honestly freaked out. He waved a hand in front of Leo's face. "Hey man, are you okay."

Leo blinked slowly as he started to come back to reality, "That's it?"

"What's it?" Malcolm asked confused.

"The plan," Leo explained, "That's it? There's nothing more to it? We just knock him out until the effects of the holy water wear off?"

Malcolm nodded slowly, "Yeah, that's it."

"And WHY didn't we do this plan in the FIRST place!?" Leo shouted before he smiled crookedly, maybe even a bit madly. "You know what? Nevermind. The past is the past, and I'm totally calm now."

Malcolm eyed him warily but nodded none the less. Now all they had to do was find Percy."

* * *

"ALL AROUND THE COBBLER'S BENCH THE MONKEY CHASED THE- Oh hey Leo! Whatcha got there?" Percy started to walk over to Leo, but stopped short when he saw Leo's face. He seemed to be holding some kind of rubber mallet, and he was smiling like an insane person. Percy grew nervous, "Hey man, what-what are you doing? Shouldn't you be building stuff or something? Hey-hey man… Leo? Le-"

Leo took a list out of his pocket and crossed off the last item listed there. It looked like Plan E was a success.

* * *

Leo collapsed next to Annabeth on the porch of the Big House. Annabeth looked over at him tiredly, "How is he?"

"Well," Leo stretched, "After twenty-four hours of sleep and constant supervision, Percy is back to normal. I just left him in his cabin with Rachel watching him."

Suddenly, said Oracle ran up to the Big House. She looked around worriedly. "Hey guys, have you seen Percy?"

The two demigods bolted upright, and Leo looked at Rachel, "Why?"

"I can't find him." Rachel bit her lip in worry.

"What do you mean you can't find him?" Annabeth stared at Rachel, her grey eyes swirling, "I thought Leo left you to watch him."

"Well he did, but Hazel and Frank came to visit, and Frank said that they would watch Percy until he woke up so that they could hang out with him." Rachel's green eyes were filled with worry, "When I came back five minutes later to grab my book that I left there, Percy was gone, and Frank and Hazel were nowhere to be seen."

Suddenly, there was a girlish scream as Hazel and Frank ran up to the Big House and hid behind Rachel looking around nervously. Leo raised an eyebrow, "Gosh Hazel, I didn't know that you screamed that girly like."

Hazel peeked at him from around Rachel's shoulder, "I don't. That was Frank."

Before Leo could start teasing Frank, Annabeth interrupted, "Hey guys, where's Percy?"

Hazel and Frank looked around nervously before Frank spoke up, "Well, you see, Hazel and I passed this candy shop on the way here, and we thought that it would be nice if we grabbed some candy for everyone, and Percy must have found it all when we weren't looking, and…"

Suddenly, Frank was interrupted from someone shouting above them. The demigod's looked up to see Percy up on the room of the Big House standing next to the tied up statue from Bunker 9. He grinned and tettered dangerously over the edge of the roof for a moment before righting himself. Percy whooped and waved down at them with a stick of cotton candy in his hand. "Hey look guys, I have candy!"

Leo stared up at him and summed up what they were all thinking into one word.

"Crap."

* * *

 **A/N HA HA HA! Sir P. Ercy is Jack's son. Get it? You seriously don't know how fun it was to write this, so I hope that you guys liked it. :D**

 **Also, for anyone who is wondering, Rachel and the Stolls knew that Percy had had some holy water, but they thought that it had worn off already, so that's why they were confused by Percy's actions.**

 **Review if you liked it! Bye my tear drops. :D**

 _ **~NoTearsFalling**_


End file.
